Design

This research was conducted with a qualitative approach and using the conventional content analysis method. The knowledge produced in the content analysis method is based on the unique experiences of the participants and from the real data. In qualitative content analysis, the goal is to group and classify the information obtained from the interviews and observation protocols. In this method, information is collected directly from the participants, and codes and classes are extracted from raw data by inductive method [28]. The reasons for choosing this method are the lack of comprehensive information about the reasons for the divorce of young couples in the cities of Borujerd, Durud, and Delfan, limitations of the quantitative and qualitative research conducted in this field, the specificity of the reasons for divorce to the culture, manners, and customs of different regions and the need to investigate this phenomenon in the social and cultural context of Lorestan.

Participants

This research was carried out in the cities of Borujard, Durood, and Delfan in the west of Iran. The participants in the research are a diverse range of different groups, the first group included young men and women who have been divorced in the last 4 years, and the second group was young men and women who are on the verge of divorce and have gone to court. The third group was key informants that included a wide range of experts with experience and knowledge on the subject of divorce. These people were family counselors, family lawyers, sociologists, psychologists, and people who worked in the courts in the field of divorce.

The criterion for entering the study was to have experience of divorce in the last 4 years or to go to court for divorce at present and to be less than 35 years of age for both; for the key informants, the criterion was to have experience and knowledge of the issue of divorce. The exclusion criterion was not completing the interview process and not allowing audio recording. In this study, “young couples” refers to individuals under 35 years of age. All participants in the study were between 20 and 34 years old, and no individual aged 35 or older was included in the study.

Participants were initially selected through purposive sampling and then snowball sampling. To do that, by referring to family courts, young couples who were on the verge of divorce or couples who have divorced in the past 4 years were identified, and by meeting them and obtaining their permission, interviews were conducted. Then to increase the number of interviews and to reach saturation, at the end of each interview, the participants were asked to introduce other people, whom they knew and who met the criteria for the study, to the researcher. 20 of the main participants were selected through purposive sampling and 12 through snowball sampling. Considering the key informants, the researcher went to the family courts and interviewed lawyers, family counselors, and other people. Also, interviews were conducted with psychologists or sociologists who were active in the province and had good knowledge and information in the field of divorce. In general, 16 key informants with various fields and specialties were selected to participate in the research. It should be noted that in the selection of participants, the strategy of diversity in sampling was also considered, that is, it was tried to select participants who have the most diversity in terms of demographic characteristics and provide the most help for understanding the phenomenon.

Data collection

Data collection was conducted between 05/06/2024 and 18/08/2024 using semi-structured face-to-face interviews with eligible participants. Before the interviews, the researcher presented a brief biography of himself first, then explained the general purpose of the research and the method of data collection and dissemination to the participants, and after the consent of the participants, the interviews began. At first, some demographic questions including age, education, and occupation were asked, and then the interview started with a general question like “What made you think of divorce?” or “Why did you get divorced?.” Then other questions were asked to analyze the phenomenon, such as what are your most important reasons for divorce? What role did the family play? What was the role of the society and the surrounding people? Also, regarding the key informants, questions such as, in your opinion, what causes couples to divorce? What are the most important reasons for divorce in the target society from your point of view? Were asked.

The time and place of the interviews were determined by the participants. During the interview, no one else was present except the researcher and the participant. The interviews were conducted by an expert with a lot of experience in the field of qualitative research. The duration of the interview was different for each of the participants according to their information and experiences. The average duration of the interviews was 62 minutes. Data analysis started after the first interview and every interview that took place was immediately analyzed and coded so that the codes were raised in the form of questions in subsequent interviews and were constantly reviewed and compared. Data collection and coding continued until reaching theoretical saturation that is until no new reason for divorce was presented and all the codes were repeated. Theoretical saturation in qualitative research happens when all codes become repetitive and the continuation of interviews does not add anything new to the research.

Data analysis

Data classification was done with MAXQDA 2020 software and its analysis was done using the Graneheim and Lundman method [28]. The data analysis was done by the first author and the responsible author of the article and was finalized with the supervision and consensus of all the authors of the article. Thus, in the first stage, after conducting each interview, the interviews were immediately typed and saved in Word 2013 software. In the second stage, the text of the interviews was read and reviewed several times by the researchers to reach a general understanding of the text of the interviews. In the third step, all the texts were read word by word and very carefully and the codes were extracted. In the fourth step, the codes that were similar in terms of content and meaning were placed in the same category and their relationship was determined. In the fifth step, the data were placed in the main classifications, which were more general and abstract than the previous classification, and the themes were extracted.

Trustworthiness and robustness of the study

In order to increase the accuracy of the research, Guba and Lincoln's criteria were observed [29]. During the research, it was tried to select participants with different demographic characteristics (in terms of age, economic status, education, etc.) in order to have maximum diversity. In addition to the fact that at the end of each interview, the researcher expressed his understanding of the participant's speech in general and in summary to see if he understood his speech correctly or not, and he agreed with them. Also, at the end of the research, the findings were given to several participants to see if the researcher had expressed their opinions and experiences correctly or not, which was approved by all of them with minor modifications, in this way, the credibility of the data was obtained. To obtain confirmability, the main researchers observed impartiality in the entire research process. Also, during the coding and analysis of the data, all the authors of the article were active and engaged in discussions, and eventually, the categories and subcategories were approved by all of them. Then the table of research findings was given to 5 researchers familiar with the topic of divorce to express their views and if necessary, make changes, which were approved by making partial changes in the naming of the subcategories. To control the dependability, the researchers also wrote the entire research process explicitly and clearly and also recorded the interviews and notes immediately after the interviews and all the members of the research team supervised the process of conducting the study. To increase the transferability, all the study steps, the path, and the field of the study were carefully described, and the direct quotes of the participants were included in the research a lot. Also, the table of categories, subcategories, codes, and the entire section of findings was sent to 6 People who met the inclusion criteria to enter the study but did not participate in the research to evaluate whether the findings of the research were in accordance with their experiences and feelings, which was confirmed by them.

Ethical considerations

The study was approved by the Ethics Committee of Lorestan University of Medical Sciences (IR.LUMS.REC.1403.038). All methods were performed in accordance with the relevant guidelines and regulations of Lorestan University of Medical Sciences. To comply with ethics in the research, written consent was obtained from all the participants, and at the beginning of each interview, the researcher briefly explained the objectives of the research as well as the conditions of participation in the research and how to interview the participants and told them that participation in the research was completely optional and anytime, they wanted, they could withdraw from the interview or choose another time and place. At the end, the method of reporting the findings was explained to the participants and they were assured that the recorded file will only be used in accordance with the objectives of the research and no one else will have access to it, and after typing the interviews, the recorded files should be completely deleted, and in the publication of the findings, no names or addresses of them should be presented so that they cannot be identified.

Sexual problems

One of the reasons for divorce was sexual problems such as premature ejaculation and having poor sex performance that one of the couples had, which caused the dissatisfaction of the other party and ultimately led to divorce. Some of the participants stated that they were not satisfied in the sexual relationship between husband and wife and their spouse could not satisfy them. In some cases, some of the participants stated that their spouses had wrong expectations and perceptions about sex, and this caused problems and sexual dissatisfaction. Also, some of the participants stated that their spouses wanted an unconventional type of sexual relationship, such as group sex. They wanted to continue this type of relationship and to involve their spouse in this relationship so that the spouse's opposition had caused the divorce. Part of these expectations and misconceptions about sexual relationship was caused by watching porn movies; due to lack of knowledge, they compared their own sexual relationship with Porn actors and since they could not establish such a sexual relationship, sexual dissatisfaction has been formed.

“My wife used to give me a cold shoulder during sex and I was not satisfied with it at all. I tolerated it at first, but later it was difficult for me” (29-year-old man, master's degree)

“My husband had strange expectations in sex. He was very hot and wanted us to have sex several times a day. She also wanted us to be like in sex movies, which I couldn't do. That's why we always argued” (33-year-old woman, bachelor's degree).

“My husband had premature ejaculation. He was my husband for two years. I couldn't enjoy sex even once. I got so upset. That was one of the reasons why I broke up with him” (22-year-old woman, diploma)

“One of the main problems that causes my clients to divorce is sexual dissatisfaction, which causes betrayal and other injuries that ultimately lead to divorce” (31-year-old woman, family counselor).

“My wife got crazy, he was a dishonorable bum, and he told me that he would like to have group sex with his friend and his wife.” (25-year-old woman, bachelor’ degree)

Mental-psychological disorders

Another reason for couples’ separation was having mental disorders. Bipolar disorder, severe obsession, schizophrenia and paranoid personality disorder were among the mental disorders that made marital life difficult. These mental problems can be treated to some extent by counseling and going to a psychoanalyst, but due to the taboos that existed about going to a psychologist, the sick person did not go to these treatment centers, and this problem caused the aggravation of the disease and disrupted the family.

“Some of the couples who come to me have mental disorders, the most common of these disorders include bipolar disorder, severe obsession, schizophrenia, and paranoid personality disorder” (32-year-old man, family counselor)

“My wife had very obsessive behaviors, she cared a lot about cleanliness, she started fights over the smallest issue, I didn't feel comfortable at home, I always liked her to be in her father's house” (30-year-old man, diploma)

Spouse’s behavioral characteristics

Each of the couples have certain behaviors that caused problems in their family life. One of these characteristics was the weakness in expressing love, which could be rooted in the cultural beliefs formed in the studied areas, which causes couples to not be able to express love properly, because in traditional parts of society, expressing love is unpleasant for women and may lead to the formation of the belief that she is shameless and has no decency. It is also the same for men that there is this idea that men should be strong and stiff and should not express their love too much. Of course, these thoughts and beliefs are becoming weaker day by day, but they still exist in the traditional parts of society. Another one of the most important behaviors was pessimism and suspicion towards the spouse, which caused severe control and dissatisfaction of the other party. Dependence and lack of personal independence was another behavioral characteristic that affected married life. This dependence and lack of personal independence was observed in both genders; it was more common in people who were younger. Miserliness was one of the other behavioral characteristics that caused divorce, of course, it must be said that divorce is a complex phenomenon and each of these factors alone cannot fully explain it, but in the life of two people, a set of factors go hand in hand and leads to separation.

“My husband was very nervous, he was always angry and he could do anything when he was angry. I was afraid of him, that's why I divorced” (19-year-old woman, junior high school)

“My wife was sick, she thought I was cheating on her, she checked my phone every day when I went home.” (33-year-old man, associate degree)

“My mother-in-law and sister-in-law had a lot of influence on my wife, she did whatever they said and was very dependent on them; this affected our life” (21-year-old man, diploma)

“My husband was stingy, his income was very good, but it killed him to buy a kilo of fruit for the house, I always had a problem with him buying clothes for the children, he said he didn't want me to buy so many clothes for them, and I didn't want such a life anymore” (30-year-old woman, associate degree)

“My wife didn't know how to express her love to me at all. She said it was rude. We talked a lot about this issue, but she thought that if she expressed her love to me, I would think badly of her. She was very traditional and grew up in a very traditional family, unlike me. (34-year-old man, PhD)

Individualism

Another reason for divorce was individualism, which was seen in some couples. Some of the participants stated that their spouse had no commitment towards them and their children and only thought about their own pleasure and having fun. This individualism had caused a man or woman to not have much commitment to the family and to be less present in the family space so that they spend most of their time with their single friends or pursue their interests and hobbies and do not care much about family problems.

“My wife used to allocate most of her time to the hairdressing salon, she didn't think of me at all, she only cared about what new makeup model or what new coat was on the market” (24-year-old man, bachelor's degree)

“My husband didn't think about me and my daughter at all. He left us alone for many days and went to have fun with his friends. Once my daughter got sick, she was in the hospital, but my husband went to northern Iran (seaside) with his friends the next day” (21-year-old woman, diploma)

Physical appearance problems

Among the other reasons for divorce that were stated by the participants were physical-appearance problems, which included problems such as infertility, physical disability, one of the spouses being sick, being fat and not being good-looking. Due to the importance of fertility issue in Iranian culture, infertile people are more exposed to its consequences, of course, these consequences are more for women, because in Iran, most of the popular culture considers infertility as a female issue. Impairment was one of the other reasons for divorce, and it happened mostly in cases where this impairment was caused after marriage and due to accidents or occupational accidents. Some of the participants also stated that after they were diagnosed with a certain disease, their spouse left them and got a divorce. Being fat and not having a beautiful appearance was one of the other reasons for divorce, which was mostly expressed by men, and they said that they separated from their wives because they were fat and did not have the necessary beauty.

“My wife couldn't have a child, that's why we separated, although my family's insistence was not without effect” (29-year-old man, bachelor's degree)

“My husband's spinal cord was severed in an accident, he couldn't do anything, I really couldn't bear that life anymore, that's why I decided to get a divorce.” (34-year-old woman, primary school)

“Appearance was very important to me, but my wife did not come to herself at all after marriage. No matter what I told her, she said that these things were past me. After giving birth to my son, who became fat, I tried very hard to convince her to come to herself more, but she would not listen to me. We had a problem with this issue and we broke up”) (26-year-old man, graduate)

Formation of a positive understanding of divorce consequences

In traditional societies, divorce is always viewed as an ugly phenomenon, but recently in the world and Iran, people's understanding and view of this phenomenon have been accompanied by many changes, so not only this phenomenon is not considered ugly, but also, they have found a positive understanding of it. In some cases, some participants look at divorce as an escape from an exhausting life, a rebirth, and an opportunity to build a desired life, to find themselves, and to get rid of the limitations of married life. However, some woman participants looked at divorce as a tool and considered it as a way to get rich and financially independent, because by receiving dowry from their husbands, they could earn good money, although receiving dowry is a time-consuming process and they face many challenges.

“My life was like hell; every day was painful for me. I think sometimes divorce is like a miracle that can save your life” (18-year-old woman, junior high school)

“After getting divorced, it's like I was born again. If I had stayed in that life, my life would have been ruined, but now my situation is much better.” (24-year-old woman, bachelor's degree)

“Married life is full of restrictions and responsibilities, and the only thing that can help you get out of that responsibility is divorce” (22-year-old man, associate degree)

“From the very beginning, I was looking for a rich husband to spend money for me. After two years, I separated from him and took my dowry.” (34-year-old woman, diploma)

Having defective relationships before marriage

Another reason for divorce was inappropriate relationships before marriage. Some participants were still in their emotional or sexual relationships before marriage, and this affected their married life. Of course, the type of relationship before marriage and the variety of it influenced the behavior of couples after marriage. For example, if they had many sexual and emotional relationships before marriage, it caused a kind of diversity-seeking in them, and after marriage, this diversity-seeking did not decrease and then affected their married life in such a way that resulted in separation and divorce.

“Before I got married, I experienced several love failures that took away all my spirit and feelings, so that I no longer had any feelings to spend on my husband” (34-year-old woman, master's degree)

“After marriage, I found out that my wife loved someone else before marrying me, but her family disagreed. I found out that my wife was still involved in the previous relationship, although she was not cheating, she was just following to see what her partner was doing and whether he was married or not, but such a thing messed me up. We gradually got apart because my wife didn't love me at all, her heart wasn't with me, that's why we broke up” (30-year-old man, bachelor's degree)

“My husband was one of those guys who had relationships with hundreds of people before marriage, that's why he remained the same after marriage. I thought it would be better if we got married, but it got worse.” (21-year-old woman, junior high school)

“My single life was very bad. I got involved with many boys, but they all left me. After marriage, I thought my husband would leave me one day, so I didn't feel very good.” (29-year-old woman, master's degree)

Drug use

Another reason for divorce was drug use by one or both of the spouses, however in most cases, it was drug use among men that caused their wives to divorce them. Apart from the discussion of the financial burden that drug use has placed on the family economy, there was also the discussion of behaviors that were created following drug use and caused violence and dangerous behaviors against the wife and children. As some of the participants said that they no longer had any security due to the addiction of their spouses and were threatened and abused by their spouses every day. Violent behaviors were more among people who used industrial drugs such as crystal meth, and in most cases, the main reasons for divorce were not the problem of addiction itself, but the behaviors after drug use.

“One year after our marriage, I found out that my husband had an addiction, and I knew that continuing to live would only make me ruin my life, that's why I divorced” (18-year-old woman, junior high school)

“My husband used to use crystal meth, his behavior was strange. Sometimes he would beat me to death for things, then he would regret it, saying it was not his fault.” (33-year-old woman, primary school)

“Drug use is one of the main reasons for divorce in my clients. Drug use increases the costs of the family, and because most of them are poor, it becomes difficult to continue living. Crazy behaviors due to hangovers or industrial drug use are also effective.” (32 years old, family counselor)

1. Socio-cultural factors

The second category that was obtained from the data was the social and cultural factors forming divorce, which played an essential role in the occurrence of the divorce phenomenon, because these social and cultural factors somehow changed society's view on divorce and the way it reacts. Also, the change in the fabric of society caused extensive changes in the lives of individuals and families, and these changes were ultimately part of the factors that led to divorce.

De-tabooing of divorce

Until one or two decades ago, there were traditional thought patterns about marriage and divorce in the studied societies, so many people considered divorce as an ominous phenomenon that people should refrain from doing in any way. Many cultural beliefs were formed in this field. One of these beliefs was that a girl goes to her husband's house in a white wedding dress and must return to her father's house wearing a white shroud, which indicated that divorce should not take place under any circumstances. But these beliefs and thoughts have undergone many changes in the last decade or two per the social changes that took place in society so that somehow divorce is no longer taboo and talking about it and doing it no longer face social punishments like before. This affects the tendency of women and even men to divorce. Of course, it should be noted that the social consequences of divorce are more for women than for men.

“Previously, many women and men used to preserve their lives as much as they could, but now they leave each other very easily” (54-year-old man, divorcee's father)

“My life was not good, that's why I divorced because I didn't see the need to stay in life to be bothered. Divorce is not always bad.” (19-year-old woman, diploma)

“Previously, everyone who got divorced could not get married anymore, but now it is not like that. Many people can have a proper marriage after getting divorced, society's view of divorced people has changed, now no one looks at them as criminals anymore.” (48-year-old man, PhD in sociology)

Women-oriented social changes

In Iran, with the growth of women's education and employment, there have been many social changes in the economic and social status of women in recent decades. Women's education increased their awareness of their rights and they were no longer satisfied with continuing their lives in any way as before. It also raised their expectations from their married life. Also, women's employment made them financially independent and they could separate and continue their lives more easily than before, so they could deal with divorce more easily.

“The issue of divorce is mostly because of women. Before, they used to be beaten and didn't say anything. Now, if you say something to them, they will get a divorce. Their hands are in their own pockets [Iranian proverb: i.e., they're financially independent] and they don't have any problems anymore” (54-year-old man, divorcee's father)

“A woman who has a high education and is financially independent thinks about divorce much more easily, the things that made my wife divorce me were these two things” (33-year-old man, PhD)

“Women are not like before, they don't accept anything. You can't force them anymore, now they speak their rights as soon as you want to say something” (29-year-old man, judicial employee)

Media and social networks

In the last two decades, there has been a great change in the access to social networks in Iran, and almost all social networks have become accessible to the general public. Because they had not received any training in this field before, this problem caused many challenges in the lives of families. Some people spend many hours of their time on social networks, as they become dependent on it, and this dependence itself will cause many problems in families. As some participants reported that the reason for divorce was their spouse's Internet addiction. Although internet addiction alone cannot be the source of divorce, it can be the cause of divorce with its consequences. Social networks gave rise to famous people who had no special art or abilities, but with the techniques they had, they were able to create a lot of popularity for themselves, so that their pages are visited by millions of people. These people, who are known as bloggers, usually expose only the exciting and enjoyable part of their lives to the public, this causes people who do not have media knowledge to compare their lives with them, and this itself can make married life confront many problems. Another thing that created a challenge in married life was the way of behavior and dress code in social networks, which was the source of many conflicts that caused separation. Of course, in most cases, it was men who could not tolerate their wives behaving against their wishes on social networks. These behaviors could be a wide range of actions from the way they dress and post pictures on their profiles, or being in different groups and talking to strangers.

“My husband was always on social networks, he didn't spend time with me and my daughter at all, he rarely went out with us” (27-year-old woman, bachelor's degree)

“Many young people, especially women, compare their lives with these celebrities and their expectations always rise and they find a lot of problems” (48-year-old man, PhD in sociology)

“These social networks have led all the young people astray; the married ones are worse. Many divorces are because of these social networks” (40-year-old woman, court clerk)

“My husband used to say that I shouldn't post my profile picture or be a member of telegram groups. He would always check my telegram. It made me nervous. We always fought over this issue” (17-year-old female, diploma)

Lack of a suitable support system

Until a few decades ago, if there was a dispute between families, the elders would resolve it and encourage the young couple to continue their married life, but today this is no longer the case and the traditional support network has lost its importance. The elders are less willing to help and reconnect men and women. In general, in the past, most of the marriages took place within the group (intragroup marriages) and the families played a big role in marriage and the choice of the person, that is why they gave the most support to them after marriage, but today most of the marriages are out of the group (intergroup marriages) and the young people themselves often choose and the role of families has decreased, that's why families support less during tensions. However, this decrease in support can be caused by the youth's lack of attention to the words and ideas of the elders. Despite the reduction of traditional support networks, new support networks such as counseling centers have not been able to find their place. Couples who are facing problems in life are less likely to refer to these centers, and family courts do not have a proper mechanism to prevent divorce, although sometimes they send couples to counseling centers, these centers do not have a coherent process for reuniting couples and solving their problems, and in some cases, they only make the divorce process time-consuming and exhausting.

“We got married traditionally, even though I knew early on that we had problems with each other, but there was no place for me to go. The counseling centers were in the center of the province, but we were remiss and didn't go” (Man, 28 years old, master's degree)

“When couples go to the court for divorce, the courts do not have a good and defined mechanism on how to advise and guide the couple so that they do not get divorced. The only thing the court does is delay the divorce process, and couples only go to these centers to goof off and shirk and they don't believe in them much.”) (39-year-old man, lawyer)

“Before, when a divorce was going to happen, the families of the man and the woman did their best to prevent the divorce from happening, but this is not the case now. Now no one respects their words, the young people do everything on their own, which is why the divorce rate is high” (37-year-old woman, PhD in demography)

Inappropriate spouse choosing

Another reason for divorce among couples was inappropriate choice of spouse, that is, the couple had not chosen each other logically and properly at first. Another reason for divorce that was stated by the couple was a lack of proper counseling before marriage, as some participants stated that they got married without getting to know each other enough, which resulted in divorce. Some of these divorces were the result of forced marriages derived from customs or early marriage, which later led to divorce. Most of the forced and early marriages had taken place without women's desire and consent, which further led to dissatisfaction with the married life and ultimately led to divorce. In some marriages, the couples ignored class differences and cultural and social differences, which led to divorce. Also, in some cases, couples did not get to know each other much before marriage, and after the wedding, they realized how much they had different tastes. In some cases, too much emphasis on having a certain criterion on the part of the spouse, such as being rich or being a doctor, caused them to consider only having this criterion as enough for marriage, which led them to face many problems.

“I was not more than 15 years old when my father forced me to become my cousin's wife. From the beginning, I didn't like him very much. We had quarrels until we broke up” (17-year-old woman, diploma)

“I had a 15-year age difference with my wife. At first, I thought that because she was young, I could raise her however I wanted, but that didn't happen at all. We didn't understand each other very much, she made strange excuses.” (34-year-old man, junior high school)

“My husband was from Tehran. We met each other at university. We thought we could be happy together, but from the day of our wedding, cultural differences showed themselves. We were very different from each other. Our worlds were very different. He had expectations that were not acceptable to me. My family never accepted her as a son-in-law and we decided to separate and get divorced.” (33-year-old woman, bachelor's degree)

“Some couples don't think about cultural and class differences at all before marriage, but when they start living together, they see how much these differences can affect their lives. We had many cases that they got separated because of this class and cultural difference.” (41 years old woman, lawyer)

“I wanted to become a doctor, but I couldn't so I always dreamed of marrying a doctor. When I got in touch with my husband, even though I knew we weren't very compatible, but since he was a doctor, I tried to be exactly what he wanted. This didn't continue and our life lasted only two years, then we broke up.” (27-year-old woman, diploma)

“My husband's family had many problems. It was our fault that we didn't do much research before marriage. After the wedding, I realized that my father-in-law and one of my husband's brothers were drug addicts, and his mother was divorcing his father. Their problems affected our life a lot, they all involved us in their own problems. I had a lot of disagreements with my husband over these issues.” (22-year-old woman, diploma)

Economic challenges

Another main reason for divorce that was frequently expressed by couples was economic challenges. Some couples had faced many financial problems due to bankruptcy or economic shocks such as the sudden increase in housing and car prices, which had led to tension in the family. Some men were imprisoned because of these financial problems and this issue led to divorce. Some women stated that their husband's unemployment and not having a suitable job were the reason for divorce. But the thing that caused the divorce between couples who were both employed was the separation of income and financial competition. Each of the couples saved separately for themselves, so in some cases, it caused competition between them, and this issue made them far from each other day by day and finally led to divorce. In general, due to the increase in economic inflation in the last decade and the increase in the cost of housing and other living expenses, Iranian families have suffered a lot of financial pressure, which has caused many problems in the lives of young couples.

“My husband was unemployed. I couldn't buy a coat once a year. My parents bought me a coat all the time. I was tired of this life, that's why I decided to get a divorce” (25-year-old woman, bachelor's degree)

“I sold my house and invested in the stock market. It was very good at first, but everything went wrong and I lost my capital totally. This was the beginning of all our problems. My wife kept making excuses and arguing with me, ‘why did you do this?’” (33-year-old man, master's degree)

“My wife and I were both working, but from the very beginning, my wife did not buy anything for the house. She used all her money to either buy gold or let her brother trade with it and give her a profit. We fought many times over this issue, it became such that we had determined what expenses each person should pay for the house, these tensions had increased so much that we stopped talking to each other at all.” (32-year-old man, PhD)

“One of the main reasons for divorce that I have seen is financial problems, most families are under pressure, and this financial pressure causes other problems such as violence and addiction, which ultimately lead to divorce.” (31-year-old woman, family counselor)

Modeling of divorce

The growth of the divorce rate in the last decade has caused at least one divorce to take place in some Iranian families, which has caused a kind of imitation or fashion of divorce in society. Many couples take a model for divorce from their friends or relatives in some way. Also, the issue of divorce is always shown in the media, and this issue itself causes divorce to be no longer considered as an unfortunate event and becomes a custom or pattern.

“Until my sister got divorced, I didn't think about divorce at all, but when she got divorced, I was motivated to get a divorce. I said to myself, why should I stay in a life that doesn't bring me any pleasure, a few of my close friends had just gotten divorced.” (24-year-old woman, Associate Degree)

“Divorce has increased so much that most young people look at their friends and imitate them” (55-year-old man, bachelor's degree, divorcee's father)

“I was a child of divorce. I knew how many problems a child of divorce would face, that's why I kept telling myself that I would never get a divorce in my life, but it didn't go as I liked and I got divorced. I don't know, maybe my mother influenced my divorce.” (26-year-old woman, associate degree)

“Divorce has increased a lot in our society and it seems that it has become a custom and norm for everyone. Many people think of divorce more easily than before.” (49-year-old man, PhD in sociology)

1. Family factors

Another category was family factors, which were mostly related to events that happened within the framework of the family and led to tension and separation.

Job’s impact on family life

One of these family factors was issues related to people's jobs that affected their family life. Some jobs led to husband and wife not being able to be with each other and this physical distance gradually separated them emotionally and caused dissatisfaction and separation. Also, having jobs such as driving a heavy car for men or nursing and having night shifts for women caused dissatisfaction in their spouses so that they had to choose between the work and the spouse. Also, some couples stated that their spouses worked in environments that were not safe for them, and their spouses could make mistakes and betray them, and this issue caused more tension and dissatisfaction with the spouse's job, which ultimately resulted in divorce.

“She was a nurse, she was in the hospital most of the time, she was on night shifts and this was very difficult for me. Every night I thought to myself that her colleague might approach her or that my wife might cheat on me. I asked her several times to stop working, but she refused.” (25-year-old man, bachelor's degree)

“My husband was a truck driver, sometimes he didn't come home for 20 days, well, it was very hard for me. I didn't have anyone here, my family was not with me, and I felt lonely all the time. I said to myself ‘What kind of husband do I have; he is never with me.’ We always fought about this issue and finally, we broke up.” (24-year-old woman, associate degree)

Improper communication with spouse's family

Another reason for divorce was inappropriate communication with the spouse's family. Some participants stated that their spouse did not have a proper relationship with their family and disrespected them continuously, or they did not participate in mourning ceremonies and wedding celebrations, which caused dissatisfaction and tension, which ultimately resulted in divorce. Also, the inappropriate relationship with the spouse's family in some cases led to the interference of the families, and the life of the couple was affected. The involvement of families was seen more especially in couples who were younger.

“My husband always cursed my family, he always made fun of my brothers in front of me, and this bothered me a lot.” (26-year-old woman, associate degree)

“My wife cared about her family a lot, but she didn't pay attention to my family at all. Every time my family came home, she disrespected them. Because of this, we got into a lot of trouble and I divorced her.” (24-year-old man, bachelor's degree)

“My husband didn't accept my family. He kept saying I had no right to have a relationship with my sisters. Every time they invited us, he made an excuse and didn't want me to go. I was tired. My sisters and brothers were all complaining me about why I didn’t have a relationship with them.” (34-year-old woman, diploma)

Accumulation of negative feelings in marital life

Some participants had some negative feelings such as hopelessness and fear of being abandoned in the future in their married lives, which led to the formation of unpleasant feelings and dissatisfaction with life, and finally resulted in divorce. Also, some other participants stated that they felt that their married life was unfair and this feeling of unfairness was more prevalent among women because they believed that they had given all their time to their husbands and children and had not been able to achieve their education or job and their dreams, and they have given up on their own interests, while their husbands had more time and were able to continue their studies or reach their work goals. Also, in some cases, some of the participants considered themselves to be at a higher level than their spouses in terms of education, beauty, etc., and this led to the formation of a feeling of superiority over them, which led to divorce.

“One of the reasons why I broke up with my husband was that I had no hope for him. He always left me alone in difficult situations, and this worried me about how I could rely on him.” (25-year-old woman, bachelor's degree)

“My wife and I both got a bachelor's degree together and we got married. I stayed at home and had a baby, but he took his master's degree and found a good job. Every time I wanted to take the master's exam, he prevented me. I felt that this life was not fair, that's why I broke up with him. And now I'm satisfied because I'm finishing my master's degree and I'll continue until I get a doctorate.” (34-year-old woman, bachelor's degree)

“My wife was not at my level, neither her appearance, nor her level of education, nor anything else, I was superior to her in all respects that was what everyone in the relatives said.” (28 years old, man, master degree)

Issues related to children

Another reason for divorce was the challenges related to children. Some of the participants mentioned the main reason for their divorce as not having children or their spouse's unwillingness to have children, which caused disputes and separation. Also, the presence of a disabled child in the family caused many challenges for the couple, which later led to separation and divorce. Not having a son was another influential factor. In some traditional families, having a son is still preferable to having a daughter, and families want their child or grandchild to be a boy, and in cases where a woman does not give birth to a boy, she usually faces many challenges and is rejected by the husband's family. Although the sex of the baby is mostly determined by the father, but due to the lack of knowledge in traditional areas, there is a belief that it is the physical and sexual structure of the woman that determines the gender of the baby.

“My husband and I had been married for several years, but we didn't have children. I loved children, and the problem was on my husband's side, but he didn't accept to be treated, that's why I divorced her.” (30-year-old woman, diploma)

“I wanted to have two or three children while I was young, but my wife said that I never want to have children again. That's why we had a disagreement and we broke up.” (34 years old man, junior high school)

“Our first child was a boy, he was physically disabled, I cried all my life for 5 years, I thought of suicide many times, I wished for death every time I saw him, I told my husband to put him in a nursing home, but he didn't accept. I couldn't put up with anymore, so I filed for divorce.” (29-year-old woman, Bachelor's degree)

“My husband's family wanted a grandson from the beginning, but I gave birth to three daughters. They said that I was like my mother who only gave birth to girls. We don't have a brother; we are five sisters. They were bothering me a lot. They pressured me to accept that he would marry another woman.” (33-year-old woman, junior high school)

Cheating on spouse

One of the reasons that some couples mentioned as the only reason for divorce was cheating, which was mentioned in both sexes. Some of the betrayals happened in the real world and had severe consequences, although these consequences were more for women and it was even possible that it would lead to their death. In some cases, which was expressed by many participants, it was virtual infidelity that is, having emotional relationships with the opposite sex in cyberspace, which led to tension and divorce. The spread of new social networks the access of the general population of Iran to it and the lack of sufficient training on how to use these networks have caused deviations in Iranian society, one of which is betrayal and cheating on the spouse.

“My husband didn’t have much commitment to me. I noticed several times that he was talking to other women, but every time I told myself that he was just talking until I realized that he was having sex with them. I couldn't take it anymore and got a divorce.” (33-year-old woman, bachelor's degree)

“I noticed that my wife is talking to a man on Telegram and emotional words are being exchanged between them. It was very difficult for me; our fight started from there.” (30-year-old man, bachelor's degree)

“Infidelity and cheating have increased, many of the people who go to the court are mostly for infidelity. In most of the cases I have seen, men cheat, but there are also women.” (48-year-old man, PhD in Sociology)

Inefficient relationships

Another reason for divorce was ineffective communication the couple had not been able to establish a constructive relationship during their married life. In many cases, before the divorce happened, the couple had experienced some kind of emotional divorce and did not have much contact with each other and they only lived under the same roof. Some of the participants said that late in their married life, they did not talk to each other at all or did not try to provide sweet and good moments for each other. They said that because they felt that their life partner did not understand them, they talked less and refrained from expressing their feelings. In some cases, the married life was associated with secrecy and lying about various issues, and these issues have resulted in a kind of indifference towards marital duties.

“For the last year of our married life, we were completely separated and we didn't talk to each other at all. I asked several times to go on a trip together, maybe our life would get better, but he didn't accept it.” (25-year-old woman, bachelor's degree)

“My wife and I didn't understand each other at all. The best moments of my life were when my wife went to her father's house. It was hard for me to bear it. When she was home we slept separately, most of the time I slept in front of the TV in the living room.” (32-year-old man, PhD)

“My husband lied to me most of the time and if he did anything, he would hide it. When I asked him, he would say it was none of my business.” (33-year-old woman, bachelor's degree)

“My husband didn't care much that he has a wife and he should pay attention to her. It wasn't like that at first, but later his behavior changed so that he often came home so late that I fell asleep and he didn't see me.” (29-year-old woman, master's degree)

Heterogeneity of lifestyle

In some cases, couples had different lifestyles, hobbies, and beliefs, and this issue caused them to behave in a completely different way in their married life. This had become a challenge. Also, most of them had different religious beliefs and they could not cope with these differences. Young couples did not understand each other in most of the important matters of life, such as lifestyle and clothing, life priorities and how to raise children, determining where to live, and even how to spend their free time. This lack of understanding was more in cases where couples were married without recognition and traditionally, and after marriage, they realized how different they were from each other.

“Some couples are opposite in terms of behavior and because they have not received any training to understand each other's differences, they face problems in life.” (37-year-old woman, PhD in Demography)

“My husband was very religious and he expected me to be like her. He said that you should pray in the early morning and wear a chador. I couldn't accept it at all.” (26-year-old woman, associate degree).

“My wife and I had no mutual understanding. We belonged to two different worlds. It was neither her fault nor my fault. She grew up one way and I grew up another way.” (33-year-old man, PhD)

“My husband said that we should definitely live in his city with his parents, but I couldn't do that at all. I wanted to live in a bigger city and we had the conditions to do it, but my husband was against it.” (25-year-old woman, bachelor's degree)

“I loved traveling and mountain climbing, but my wife was fond of going to the market and shopping, even when we went on a trip, we were all in the market and it was not pleasant for me at all. She was always looking for fashion and clothes while I didn't care at all.” (Man, 28 years old, Master's degree)

Violence

Another reason for divorce was violence, which was mostly mentioned by women as a reason for divorce. Some of the participants stated that they faced all kinds of verbal, physical, sexual, etc. violence from their spouses, and their spouses insulted and humiliated them in family gatherings. Of course, in some cases, this violence was mentioned in a milder form and in terms of verbal and psychological violence by men as a reason for divorce. In general, violence by men was mostly used in the form of physical violence, and the violence used by women was more verbal and psychological.

“Whenever my husband got nervous and angry, he started swearing and beating me.” (19-year-old woman, junior high school)

“My husband never knew how to treat me, even in sex, instead of trying to give me pleasure, he bothered me more, so that I often did not want him to get close to me.” (33-year-old woman, bachelor's degree)

“My wife used to be a source of embarrassment and she used to talk to me in public in such a way that everyone would blame me that why I let my wife disrespect me like that.” (24-year-old man, bachelor's degree)

Inability to manage challenges

Another reason for divorce was the lack of a culture of dialogue between couples and appropriae strategies to resolve conflicts. So, most of the time, the smallest issue turned into a continuous and long-term argument between the couple and caused anger and discomfort between them. In some cases, instead of solving these conflicts, couples took revenge and showed this revenge in different ways. In some cases, the spouses involved the families in tension with the smallest tension that happened and caused them to interfere and continue the tension. The presence of stubbornness and hasty decision-making were among the other cases that, from the point of view of most key informants, were grounds for divorce.

“Every time there was a problem, we couldn't convince each other, it continued and sometimes it led to long-term anger and quarrel.” (21-year-old woman, diploma)

“Every time I argued with my husband, he would try to take revenge on me somehow. He would annoy me with his behavior. He didn't care if our problem was solved, he thought I was annoying on purpose.” (27-year-old woman, associate degree)

“As soon as a small fight happened between me and my wife, she used to tell her family immediately, and this would make the case take longer. This behavior was very bad because instead of helping, her family caused more problems.” (33-year-old man, PhD)

Core category: Weakening of the family institution in the transition from tradition to modernity

In-depth analysis of the interview data revealed that although divorce among young couples in western Iran is influenced by three categories of individual, socio-cultural, and family factors, these three categories are ultimately unified under a single main category: the weakening of the family institution in the transition from tradition to modernity. This main category serves as a conceptual umbrella encompassing all subcategories and extracted codes. In other words, what ultimately emerged from the participants’ interviews is that divorce in the studied society is not merely the result of isolated individual problems or scattered economic and social pressures, but rather a reflection of a deeper structural transformation. On the one hand, traditional family support systems, such as the role of elders, constructive family intervention, and the strong taboo against divorce, are weakening and eroding. On the other hand, modern adaptive mechanisms, such as efficient counseling centers, communication and conflict resolution skills, and formal institutional supports, have not yet been fully developed or lack the necessary effectiveness. This gap and tension between the traditional and modern systems provides the main context for the occurrence of divorce among young couples. Concrete evidence of this main category can be observed throughout the subcategories. In the individual factors category, subcategories such as individualism, positive understanding of divorce consequences, and having defective premarital relationships indicate the rise of modern values emphasizing personal autonomy over collective and family commitments. In the socio-cultural factors category, subcategories such as de-tabooing of divorce, women-oriented social changes, media and social networks, and modeling of divorce reflect the shift of cultural norms away from traditional values without the replacement of new established norms. In the family factors category, subcategories such as improper communication with the spouse's family, accumulation of negative feelings, heterogeneity of lifestyle, and inability to manage challenges show that neither the traditional system, due to reduced effective family intervention, nor the modern system, due to the lack of communication and conflict resolution skills, is capable of repairing marital ruptures. Therefore, the main category, the weakening of the family institution in the transition from tradition to modernity, effectively explains this intermediate situation in which young couples have lost traditional supports while lacking the modern tools to maintain their married life, and this structural void pushes them toward divorce.

Limitations and strengths of the study

One of the strengths of this research was that, unlike most other research that only examined women's point of view, in this research, in addition to women, men and also key informants who had valuable and comprehensive opinions on the phenomenon of divorce were interviewed. This resulted in deepening the understanding of the phenomenon of divorce, which can be the basis for subsequent social and cultural interventions to reduce divorce. However, this research had some limitations, one of these limitations was the concern of the participants about the publication of the recorded files, which made them reluctant to participate in the research at first. But the researcher explained the process of participating in the research and publishing the findings, as well as ensuring that the recording files won't be in anyone else's possession and got their consent. Another limitation of the research was that some of the participants were women, and to be able to share their experiences more easily with the researcher, it was necessary to use a female researcher for the interviews.