Focus group discussants.

In the homogeneous vignette-based FGDs, 33 parents (fathers and mothers) participated, with seventeen from Ibadan Northeast LG and sixteen from Ibadan Southeast LG. Twenty-three of the participants were between the ages of 40 and 49 years. A very small number of the participants were either divorced (8) or widowed (3), whereas 22 of them were married. All the parents (33) were educated, and their level of literacy ranged from elementary to secondary levels. Most of them (20) were parents to between 4 and 6 children, while others had less than 4 children. Out of the parents, 19 are Muslims and 14 are Christians. About 22 participants reported that business or commerce was their main source of income.

On the other hand, there were 40 adolescent participants in this study, with 19 from Ibadan Northeast and 21 from Ibadan Southeast. The 40 adolescents were all in their late adolescence (15–19 years). They were fairly gender-balanced, with 19 boys and 21 girls. Among them, 11 acknowledged dating, and the majority (29) were single. Thirty (30) adolescents claimed to have secondary education, while 10 had completed elementary school. Among the adolescents, 23 are Christians and the other 17 are Muslims.

Key informant interviewees.

With consideration for their locations, gender, and social position in the community, four key informants were evenly represented. While two of the interviewees were married, the other two were either widows or widowers. Three key informants had secondary education, and one had primary education. Three of the informants were Muslims, while the last person is a Christian. Three (3) of the participants were business owners, and just one participant was a farmer.

SRH meanings and experiences.

The meaning attached to SRH by parents and adolescents, as well as their experiences, can vary and have the potential to shape the conversation around SRH issues. There is a consensus among the participants about the general meaning attached to SRH. Parents and adolescents were aware of the resultant effects of risky sexual behaviour such as HIV/AIDs, STIs/STDs, and unwanted pregnancy among others. The participants observed that protection against undesirable SRH outcomes requires self-discipline and resilience. However, the derivable pleasure in sexual activities could influence how individuals would position themselves against adverse SRH outcomes. With the information that the vignette character Adio got Abeni pregnant, the participants blamed and called both Adio and Abeni by different names. They were accused of negligence and failure to learn from other experiences. Parents gave anecdotal experiences of adolescents in their immediate community to substantiate the experiences of adverse SRH outcomes and how it affects adolescents. They acknowledged that such experiences were not uncommon in their community, given the unique characteristics of their environment. Parents affirmed that adolescents view early sexual encounters as a critical marker of maturity, which is why they are so prevalent. As such, they talk to their adolescents in one way or another because, according to them, such experiences have the potential to renew the cycle of poverty within the family and in the community at large. In parents’ words:

What I see on this matter is that I have someone in my society that is not more than 11 years pregnant. People came to seek her at home, we told her parents that people coming to look for this girl at home is not good, and the parents will be saying this and that, until she was impregnated. When she was, it was the parents that took responsibility. Now, she is the one that is having her a child at the parents’ house ……. So, it is necessary to watch over children well, to be talk to them that all these behaviours are bad…… (FGD/Men/45years/Ibadan Northeast).

Narrating further experience, a 48year old woman said:

The experience I have was when I was still in my hometown, there was a woman called Aunty Ronke. She was very loquacious; three men are not enough to meet her sexual desires for a day. Her parents always caution her that what she’s doing is wrong, but she always curses her parents. Eventually, she got pregnant, and they asked her who was responsible for the pregnancy, but she couldn’t hold anyone responsible out of all the guys she had sex with. She gave birth to the child and then she was given a room in her father’s house. After she gave birth, was she not supposed to be reasonable? But she was not reasonable enough and continued till she got her second pregnancy. Currently, she has three children in her father’s house. Whenever people passed by her house back then, they always made nasty comments about her. Whenever I go back home, she always cries when she sees me. Any child that they advise but won’t listen, it’s for the good of the child. It’s because of the future (FGD/Women/48years/Ibadan Southeast)

Furthermore, when adolescents were asked if they understood SRH issues in general, the majority alluded that they understood what SRH issues are and their consequences. However, they admitted that they lack detailed knowledge of and proper guidance about SRH issues. Adolescent participants recounted some SRH experiences among their peers. They stated that adolescent girls are sometimes exploited sexually with the promise of financial gain. Many of the participants acknowledged that they have friends and neighbours who have had similar experiences in their neighbourhood. Some vulnerable places were highlighted in their communities where some adults, primarily men, sexually exploit and abuse young girls on a regular basis. It was argued that such a sexual encounter could be challenging to disclose to friends or their parents, and might pave the way for subsequent sexual engagement, whether voluntary or lured. Also, both boys and girls reported the experience of being set up for sexual intercourse, as well as having multiple sexual relationships. This suggests unequal power dynamics in their communities, which frequently make it more difficult for young girls to negotiate and navigate safer sex spaces. The particularity of their experiences is a common feature of adolescents living in slums as narrated below:

I know a brother in this area who always plays with my friend. One day he bought ice cream and meat pie for her, took her to an uncompleted building and started touching her and doing all sorts of things with her. She tried to resist him; she struggled and cried, but he overpowered her. She did not tell anyone about what happened, but when she started having some discharge and itches in her private part, she spoke out to Aunty Temmy, who now suggested antibiotics to her. Up until now, the parents did not know what happened. One would think she has learned; she still plays with boys anyhow, and I even heard she is dating someone who is 7 years older than her… (FGD/Female Adolescent/18years/Ibadan Northeast)

Throwing more light on the day-to-day experience in the community, a male adolescent reported that:

It is very common in my community where I live. However, due to my strict parents, they do not allow me to associate with negative influences (bad people). In our community, there is a specific group of individuals whose daily activities involve approaching and attempting to woo girls. I have witnessed numerous instances of unwanted pregnancies and unwanted children resulting from these interactions. This issue is unfortunately very common in my society. (FGD/Male Adolescent/18years/Ibadan Northeast)

Intergenerational cultural norms and expectations of SRH.

The majority of participants shared a collective understanding of cultural norms surrounding SRH issues. Parents believed in abstinence until marriage for adolescents, noting a shift from traditional values to contemporary times where early initiation into sexual activities is observed. Cultural norms and a perceived lack of contemporary knowledge often hindered parents from engaging in open conversations about SRH. Parents expressed concerns that such discussions might encourage experimentation which may lead to a tendency to provide simplistic advice or warnings against pre-marital sex. The generational gap further strained communication, as parents felt disconnected from their adolescents’ outlooks and cultural influences, resulting in a fundamental difference in perspectives on SRH issues. Excerpts from parents highlighted that adolescents’ dressing, the slang they use, and quickness to leave their parents’ house contribute to the challenges in bridging the intergenerational gap and facilitating effective communication on SRH matters. They also expressed concerns about the adverse effects of civilization on their community, noting that improved infrastructure and increased exposure to external influences have contributed to a decline in their cultural norms and values. The following quotes shed more light on parents’ perspectives:

What we experience now was not common when we were still young. When we were young, we wore good clothes but nowadays, these children wear clothes that leave their body exposed, they use different slang, and they are quick to leave their parents’ custody. With the way females dress, even guys are tempted to stare at them, and this is the sole cause of what is happening nowadays because we expose what is not meant to be exposed. That is the major cause of everything we’ve been discussing. I would say, it is essential for parents to be proactive so that they can catch up with these children (FGD/Men/46years/Ibadan Southeast)

In consonance with the above position, a community also expressed his view on cultural norms and expectations for SRH issues:

Our civilization has brought harm to us. You will see some places are local and once a good road gets there, there is a problem, which is civilization. All their local acts will reduce. This civilization on watching all sorts is affecting them a lot and that is what they all like to watch ……. In the olden days, no one could have this talk. Even, you cannot say it then, there is shame and you cannot utter it but now if you wait a little while, you will see them come sit and they will be saying all sorts, you might have to block your ear when you hear things like–I have sexed her 6 times, he will not say sleep with, he will say sexed. That is how bad civilization has affected us. Parents must sit their children down and guide them appropriately, otherwise those children will go astray (KII/Community Leader/62years/Ibadan Northeast).

Similarly, when adolescents were asked about cultural norms and expectations of SRH, they reported that their parents usually preach abstinence as culturally acceptable and expected behaviour for them. They further reiterated parents’ earlier position that choosing to remain a virgin until marriage is respectable behaviour and involves a personal conviction for both boys and girls. Some of the adolescents explained that abstinence from sex helps to protect adolescents’ SRH, preserve the sanctity of sex among adolescents, and keep the body clean. They submitted that their parents expect them to be good children and be of good conduct by not involving in any form of sexual or intimate relationship. The consensus was that early sexual initiation and premarital sex were bad and could result in undesirable consequences for them. Traditional measures of protecting oneself against undesirable consequences of sexual behaviour could be abstinence from sexual activities as well as proper parental guidance. However, many adolescents argued that this culture is eroding, and most adolescents hardly stay without having sex, as explained below:

…………. Yoruba doesn’t give room for reckless living even though enlightenment allows it…… In the past, it was not so as we were taught as children would have been educated before time and would be prepared to be married off. So, our culture does not give room for premarital sex and unwanted pregnancy. So, I think parents will have to move with the current trend to be able to nurture their children well (FGD/Male Adolescent/18years/Ibadan Northeast)

Due to being the eldest daughter, my parents held specific expectations for my future. They consistently preached the importance of abstinence to avoid unplanned pregnancies. My mother, in particular, continually urged me to preserve my virginity and cautioned against allowing any man into my life at this moment. But, adhering to these expectations proves challenging, especially when faced with mockery from my friends (FGD/Female Adolescent/17years/Ibadan Southeast)

Gender double standards in SRH.

The discussion between parents and adolescents gave rise to gender double standards in sexual socialisation, which supports either masculinities or femininities. This category explored how discussions between parents and adolescents concerning SRH issues could serve yet another mechanism for the perpetuation of gender norms. Through gender double standards, parents unwittingly reinforce traditional gender norms which put pressure on adolescents to conform to preconceived notions about how adolescent girls and boys should act, behave, and interact based on their gender. Opinions are divided on this, as some parents’ favour preserving gender norms about sexuality as they are since doing otherwise would amount to teaching adolescents about having sex, which may be irresistible, while others believe gender norms need to change to meet their contemporary realities. Parents who believe they should retain the gender norm explained:

In our culture, effort is made to train boys to behave like men and they have no problem about sexual issues because they will be the ones to marry their girls. In fact, boys have no problems except if they impregnate a girl or sometime contact gonorrhea and maybe other diseases that are now common. Contacting gonorrhea is a sign that they are sexually active. I think we should be more conscious of our girls because any little mistake on their part can jeopardise their ambition and will affect them greatly. I always encourage my wife to talk to our daughters and sometimes we warn our boy too (KII/Community Leader/62years/Ibadan Northeast).

Some parents admitted that the world had changed and that parents needed to adapt to keep up with their children. It was submitted that regardless of their gender, parent must educate their children on sexual issues. They stated:

I suppose " Ọmọ táráyé bí ni aráyé ń gbé pn" (the demands of time dictate how issues are addressed) is my way of saying that regardless of how we feel about it, parents must teach their children about sexual issues. If we don’t, they will find out about it in some way. Not even with how pervasive social media is, the information children receive from it, and those "agbaya"—nasty elders who have turned themselves into big sisters and brothers in this setting and do nothing but corrupt our children. (FGD/Men/49years/Ibadan Northeast)

Another striking issue that came out in this conversation is the celebration and affirmation of masculinities among male parents. They argued that young men should exhibit their sexual skills to show young women that they are powerful. Conversations like this encourage young people to act in ways that conform to prescribed notions of masculinities and femininities. They also urge young men to engage in sexual activity while furthering the subjection of women. The discussion of SRH issues should focus on educating both male and female adolescents appropriately rather than upholding the traditional gender norm of male dominance. They modelled for their sons how to display their sexual prowess by speaking heroically about their own early sexual experiences. According to one of the parents:

How can I have a son and be doing anyhow or sluggish with a girl. I usually tell one of my sons that he is not like me. Others are not like him. He is too sluggish. When I was their age… I was very sexually active. I like it when they report to them that they are following girls although they must face their studies, but it is one thing that shows they resemble their father. (FGD/Men/45years/Ibadan Northeast)

Streetwise SRH knowledge.

When asked where adolescents acquire their SRH knowledge from and how parents and adolescents feel about the effectiveness of parent-adolescent communication, there was consensus among parents and adolescents that most adolescents in their community acquire practical SRH knowledge on "the street," which indicates through their daily experiences in their communities. This SRH knowledge is often gained through sources, such as peers, aunties, family members, and the broader community, rather than through parents. Parents submitted that they often learn from their children when they hear them talk about certain issues regarding SRH. However, according to parents, the streetwise SRH knowledge may perpetuate harmful myths and misconceptions, such as the belief that certain sexual behaviours are markers of being sophisticated or civilised. There is the possibility that adolescents may also face pressure to conform to the dominant slum sexual culture, which can limit their ability to make informed decisions about their own sexual health. When reacting to the Adio and Abeni anecdote, some parents felt both adolescents are not streetwise, if they were, their parents would not have discovered Abeni was pregnant before they would abort it. They recounted that many adolescent girls have aborted in their community, and some women participants even affirmed that some mothers would have done the abortion before the father would know. As illustrated by one of the participants:

Because they have a source for sexual information, these children of ours are more knowledgeable than we are. With children who already know more than what you want to discuss with them, how can you even begin a conversation on sexual matters. Children can be misled by happenings in our community because it is filled with atrocities, and the majority of the children pick up lessons from what happens in our neighbourhood. Some of us never had the opportunity to speak with their source, thus they have a different perspective on life. (KII/Women Leader/56years/Ibadan Southeast)

Adolescents’ narrative also confirmed parents’ assertion that they obtain sexual information from the street. Adolescents explain that they are often curious and interested in learning about SRH topics such as puberty, sexuality, contraception, sexually transmitted infections (STIs), and abortion. They established that they would have loved to be educated by their parents, but their parents are judgmental most times. They affirmed, in many cases they turn to their peers, the internet, or other sources for information about SRH. While these sources can provide some helpful information, they can also be unreliable and may not provide accurate or comprehensive information. The participants adjudged that they feel comfortable discussing and learning about SRH issues among their peers. They argued that they can find any knowledge they need on the street, regardless of what it is. “They will update you on the situation” says one of the adolescents.

“Ori street laye wa”–there is life on the street. If you are not there, they cannot inform you how things dey happen. What your parent can not tell you about sex, they will tell you oh ha on the street. Even if you fuck-up, people will tell you what to do. For instance, I contacted gono one time and it was one of my guys that told me what to take and I was fine. (FGD/Male Adolescent/19years/Ibadan Southeast)

Social media exposure to SRH.

Social media exposure shapes the context within which parent-child communication on SRH occurs. While acknowledging the high accessibility of SRH content through social media, study participants emphasized both positive and negative impacts of exposure to social media. Positive influences included communication and accessing health tips, while negative consequences involved exposure to explicit content and a lack of privacy. Parents participants expressed concerns that social media interference could distort the SRH education they provide, which may lead to potential confusion for adolescents. Despite the benefits, the overall sentiment was that the adverse effects of social media on SRH issues outweighed the positive impact, with participants linking media exposure to early sexual practices. They felt social media exposes adolescents to numerous unrestricted information that is damaging to their SRH while transcending the boundaries of parental authority. Parents recommended monitoring adolescents to guide them effectively in using social media for positive purposes. As articulated by the parents:

It is useful for them although it does more harm than useful for children. At least for the purpose of communication so that they can be reached, if her mother is not near, so as to call her to meet her here or there. But these children are using it for different things, do you understand? You may see different things they view and watch on it. They now watch pornography, snap nude pictures, and send them to themselves. They use it to call themselves at midnight, chat on Facebook and so many other things. However, there are good reasons as some claim to buy it for their children for the sake of communication and to know their whereabout. I will only advise parents to monitor what their children are doing on it (FGD/Women/42years/Ibadan Southeast)

Also, the community leaders emphasized the negative impact of social media exposure to SRH on adolescents and the potential consequences if left unchecked. They illustrated their point using a story narrated by a school principal involving an adolescent secretly recording her parents’ intimate moments. Their narrative underscores the importance of parental responsibility in guiding their children aright especially in situations where living conditions may contribute to adolescents experimenting adult behaviour. The following quote reflects their view:

You see, the media have spoilt so many things. If unchecked, these children will wreak havoc. Parents have a major role to play. The reason why I said so is because there was a day I went to my child’s school for their P.T.A meeting and the principal told us a story of a family that lives, probably, in a single room apartment. The child is aware that the parents have sex every other night, so she carefully hid the phone in the wardrobe to record them. The principal said he was just passing by when he heard the chatters of some students that “your father will kill your mother”, so he stopped to see what they were doing, and he discovered that they were all girls. When he requested the phone, they switched it off. He then put it on and asked them to show him the particular video they were chattering about. When she eventually showed him, he invited her parents to school the following morning. When the parents came the following morning, the mother was ranting that the phone belonged to her child, that she bought the phone for her. The principal showed her the video, then she became silent and left the principal’s office in shame. And that is why I said parents have the major part to play, since they know they live in a single room apartment and the child is all grown up but still sleeps in their room, and it is impossible for couples not to have sex. They may think the child is asleep, meanwhile he is not. So, the child will also want to practice such outside, since he knows his parents enjoy it. The parents have a major role to play in issues like this (KII/Community Leader/60years/Ibadan Southeast).

Adolescents expressed similar views with that of parents about media exposure to SRH. The majority also felt that media have both positive and negative impact on adolescents as earlier stated by parents. Adolescents acknowledged that watching sexual content on media devices could predispose them to early sexual activities. Many adolescents argue that they learn so many things on social media, especially things that their parents do not have knowledge of or could not explain to them. They believed social media is a good thing for them, however, parents should train their children well to differentiate what is good or bad on social media. The excerpt below is reflective of their position:

Social media has contributed both positively and negatively to our development. Positively in the sense that, there are some health issues that they make us know and negatively in the sense like watching of porn videos. Because when a girl or boy gets to watch porn video, he will want to put it into action because he has watched the demo, he too wants to get the real one to himself, but parents can checkmate their children exposure to such things by occasionally check through their phones or guide what they watch on the TV (FGD/Male Adolescent/16years/Ibadan Northeast)

Adolescents’ sexual activities are shrouded in secrecy because they tend to comply in public by lying about their sexual behaviours and presenting themselves as well-behaved, especially to their parents. When relating their conversation about social media exposure to SRH discussion between parents and adolescents, some adolescents believe their parents are unaware of the current trends regarding their SRH issues. Many adolescents are curious about the sexuality depicted in popular culture and online. Adolescents stated that their parents are not "tech-smart" enough to know what they are doing on social media. Female adolescents claimed that they could act in a way that would satisfy their parents, such as staying indoors and acting responsibly, since their parents want to keep an eye on their whereabouts. Nonetheless, they admitted that when it comes to SRH behaviour, they cling to the trends, such as picking up slang from celebrities and attempting to act acceptably around their peers. They acknowledged that they could get their hands on sex toys and objects like dildo while their use of social media platforms fuels their desire. Many adolescent males, however, reported that some of their peers indulged in masturbation. It was asserted that using social media to meet, communicate with, and conduct sexting or video sex with partners has made practicing SRH behaviours easier. Adolescents of both sexes agreed that they used one or more social media sites, and that they enjoyed doing so because it was entertaining. One of them narrated:

I laugh when my mummy asks me questions like, Are you sexually active? Well, in my mind, I am, but she must not know. How will she know when I’m supposed to be strongly guided by her? So, the answer is no, I’m not. Meanwhile, I get my pleasure and satisfaction from my vibrator (sex toy). Some of my friends do it too…… Have you ever heard the word "happy pills"? Well, it is a pill we put in drinks to get very horny and active while using the toys and yet be the good girls to mummy…

(FGD/Female Adolescent/19years/Ibadan Northeast)

Another adolescent offered the following from his own experience:

My daddy thought he knew how to use the phone; he always complains that I spend too much time with my phone. He then seized my phone to see what I always do, he searched and searched and couldn’t find anything. Me that I have my hidden app, I hide everything inside app lock. He returned the phone to me… as for porn, boys have porn on their phone but hidden…. The truth is except if you people want to deceive yourself, you are at one time watch porn or do video sex …so stop pretending.

(FGD/Male Adolescent/19years/Ibadan Southeast)